Cookin’ in my Jammies!

Each week I will present a tried and true sole soul food recipe. It may be a breakfast, lunch, or dinner recipe, but it will be delicious, economical, and easy to prepare. I hear people wondering about the jammies for those meals. I wake up famished. I always have and I look forward to making and enjoying something to rev me for the day while still in my jammies. If I am out and about I often put together a lunch I can carry with me in my special lunchbox. When my day of working, or whatever I had on my “plate” is complete, I put on my pajamas.

Now looking at my recipes! What I have found to be very true, is how hard it is to take a recipe for six and turn it into a recipe for just that sole soul. I don’ know about you but I have a hard time dividing 1/2 teaspoon of pepper into six parts. However, when I was first on my own, I realized fast food and frozen food are not the best way to manage meals. Next week I’ll show you a tasty and satisfying curry using a can(of what you ask?), frozen shrimp, onions, potatoes and curry powder. I would love to hear your ideas about your special meals. Please email me at

theartofwidowing@gmail.com

Going from two opinions to one can be a bit overwhelming. Some Stress scales rate losing one’s spouse 100 points. Divorce is a 73, and separation is 65. I know everyone rates everything at this time, but, whether you are a strong personality of not so strong, losing that significant other can prove to be extremely difficult. Almost every research shows that becoming mindful of all of our senses helps to reduce stress. Looking at pictures with great memories, Deep breathing such as in through your nose, count to three, out through your mouth count to three. Listening to peaceful, calming music. One site suggested tightening and releasing all of your muscles to help your body release stress. I like to do a power relax where I think of my favorite place, and everything that helps me stay calm.

But sometimes it’s just nice to talk with that neutral person. It helps to vent and hear our thoughts come to life. I am stubborn and private and I realize one of the most difficult things for me is admitting that I am sad. I used to think that made me weak but now I realize that is what gives me strength. The Mayo Clinic has an interesting site with tips to relieve stress.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relievers/art-20047257

Always remember the sole soul is never truly alone when we know how to find resources.

Here comes Halloween 2023! Some of us may feel alone but not comfortable to admit it. We often dressed as a couple but now, there’s a sole character. It can become a time of excuses to friends, coworkers, and family why we can’t be available for this particular occasion. Halloween also seems to mark the beginning of the “Holiday” season. So whatever you may celebrate, it may also begin a self discussion of why we are going solo. And, that’s ok. Coming to terms with how we handle our loss: whether it is by death, ghosting, or breakup, is important every day. Remember, we don’t “get over” or “just move on” with anything. We cope. We improvise. We live our lives just as before, the best way possible.

Coming in at an impressive Rotten Tomatoes score of 90%, Barbie turned out to be a great watch. Perhaps better than anything else it offers is the music. It’s filled with singing and dancing the likes of which may not have been seen since Oklahoma made its movie debut in 1955. I must admit, as someone who loves to sew and weirdly design, the costumes tore at my heartstrings. Can there ever be too much pink? Well, yes, I say. But pink was actually not introduced to Barbie until 1972. With all the punny exchanges, and story line Barbie was easy to enjoy. The fact that the actual movie is a little under two (2) hours was also a big plus for recommendation. Oh, and I must admit, I didn’t care how old any of the actors were. They were all glorious!

And there it is, the QUESTION. Am I going to be the extra spoke on the wheel? When I first became a sole soul, I realized my friends were worrying about me more than I wanted. It happened fast! I was being invited to parties and dinners and couples events. Everyone would tell me, “No, everyone loves having you here, don’t worry about it”. But I did! I was the odd number, the odd soul out. I was the +1 for every couple there. I’m not sure what made me more uncomfortable though, being the +1 or having an arrangement of two +1s so there was that extra “forced, blind date kind of” event. What I realized early on was to follow my heart. If it was something I would go to anyway then no harm no foul. But if it was what I looked at as a “pity” invite, I would gratefully decline. Next week I’ll talk about what that looks like, a grateful declination.